Sunday, March 25, 2007

Update on K

I am going to devote this entire post to K. If you have been paying attention, I referred to him as a quasi bf a while back. We have been fairly consistently "dating" on Saturday nights since February. He is a real cutie with this all-American young guy look. He is 32 years old, but looks like he's late 20's. A former high school/college soccer jock with the soccer player bod to prove it. He has light brown hair and green eyes that kinda flash at you when he looks directly at you. He normally wears a pair of scholarly-looking glasses. He is always smiling and is generally an up person at all times. There is always a book that he is reading under his arm or in his satchel. He is engaging, very cute not overtly sexy, but you'd definitely have to take a second look if you passed him on the street. You literally want to fucking tear his clothes off and fuck him hard as soon as you see him.

Having said all of that, there has been virtually nothing of interest to post on this Blog yet. For the first 3 "dates", we parted at the New York Avenue Metro Station with a kiss and a hug. I would get off the train and he would ride on to Silver Spring. On "date" 4, I again invited him to get off the train and come back to my place. After he hesitated, I point blank invited myself to his place, but got put off. This was followed by a couple really sweet e-mails and a kind of uncomfortable phone conversation. Again nothing on "date" 5.

On "date" 6, K came back to my place. We cracked open a bottle of wine and found a movie on on-Demand and cuddled and kissed and enjoyed the wine and the movie. We also talked about sex. It turns out that he has had a rough life and his experience with men has been less than mutually respectful. He candidly told me that he is very submissive and enjoys being with older dominant men. He has been dis-owned by most of his family and raped brutally at one point early in his life. He said that he likes to be the "fag". I am familiar with the term fag, but how he used it baffled me. Some of what he described left me totally shocked. I don't think I am naive and occasionally have been involved in some kinky play, but I am frankly puzzled how to have a relationship with a guy that wants this type of thing regularly. In addition, he told me as he left that night that he wanted to by my "fag".

I don't know how to have a relationship with a guy who wants to be my "fag". I said this to him. I am not sure I even understand his reaction. He says it’s all about me?? So, there we are.

I can't force myself on to a guy who has been raped. I certainly enjoy control and can be dominant, but there is a tacit understanding and reality that the guy I am with is enjoying it. So far, I am not seeing that here.

"Date" 7 was last night. He did anything I asked him to do, but it was like being with a robot. Today he assures me he enjoyed pleasing me. Frankly, it left me even more confused and empty. I am not sure about the future of us.

11 comments:

The Average Joe said...

Hey dude,
I randomly came across your blog and I need to lay it out straight to you; you have absolutely no idea how big of a sexual mind trip you give the guy when you make sex all about you and use his ass for your sexual pleasures. I should know because from what I can tell hes like me. Nothing turns me on than getting into a jock so the top doesnt even need to bother with my cock and just get fucked and please my top. If you like this guy but are confused about this whole fag thing, ill give you some tips...

1. when having sex, use him for your pleasure, make it all about you, take charge and just fucking rape the shit out of this dude.

2. after sex be super affectionate and be really loving.

3. when raping do it with a lot of passion, let him see the lust you have for him.

It sounds kinda fucked up and in a way it is, like him I was raped, (well and I was also sexually molested when I was 14 but diff story). Is it the sole reason I enjoy when a guy takes charge and dominates me and uses me for my pleasure? maybe, maybe not, but its certainly what I enjoy and it seems its what he enjoys as well.

and dont forget the potent power of change.

Former Washingtonian said...

SoFlo??? Seriously??? Oh my god, I moved away from DC about a year ago, having lived there for 6, and I never heard of "SoFlo!" What the hell is that supposed to mean? South of Florida Ave.? But half of NE is south of Florida! hahaha... And no matter how "gentrified" it's becoming (and don't get me wrong, I'm all for gentrification), I doubt it's going to look anything like, umm, SoHo, in NYC any time soon. DC is so fucking pathetic...

Havng said that, nice blog, and hot stories... you sound cool, nothing of the above is meant to be taken personally... But you'll see what I mean about DC after you've lived there for a while...

insoflo said...

hey - the average joe: i appreciate your tips. i like this guy. he is fucking hot. he totally confuses me in the sack. a new experience for me and i am trying to ride with it!

btw, i am a big fan of you blog! glad you found mine!

insoflo said...

former washingtonian said....: i am a brand new DC resident. SoFlo is the area of NE DC south of Florida Avenue. i am enjoying this neighborhood, which is definitely changing by the day. i am still learning DC!

former washingtonian said...

Have fun! It's a nice city to live in for a while. It's just funny sometimes how it tries to be trendier than it really is.

I'll keep reading your blog...

The Neighbors Will Hear said...

This guy sounds broken. Having a real relationship with a guy who's broken is difficult if not impossible. I can see why you'd rather have something a little more equal, but if he needs to be submissive, and you like being dominant, then there's no reason why you shouldn't have hot sex for as long as you want.

Anonymous said...

sounds unhealthy. the guy needs to deal with his shit before he can have a real relationship.

bikeguy13 said...

I don't know how healthy or unhealthy it is. It is his state of mind on what arouses him.

He is smart enough to know that it might not be your place - which is why he was so hesitant to say it in the first place.

Yeah he thought it was hot. You thought it was robotic. The reality is you're not at the same place at the same time.

Unfortunately these things happen.

Anonymous said...

i agree, your dude has issues. if you want to help him thru it then continue seeing him. if its not worth the trouble, fuck him then dump him.

rawTOP said...

I'm a little late to the conversation... but I think you should go for it. Years ago I realized that sex (and even relationships) can be about power and control rather than traditional intimacy (I say traditional, 'cause there is intimacy - even when the sex is based on power and control).

As a top, it's a really wonderful thing to have a submissive bottom - it may take a little getting used to if that's not where your head's at, but once it all sinks in, you'll love it.

Relationship-wise you have to be willing to be the breadwinner and take charge. He'll be there for you in some ways, but not others.

Start by enjoying the sex (just take what you want without asking), and go from there...

If you don't want him, send him my way - my bf and I could use a boy...

Anonymous said...

regarding dc, i could not agree with former washingtonian any more. he's on the $$$. i've been here 7yrs. and please, don't even ge me started.

but onto K, wow. Deep. Intense. I read "the average joe"'s feedback as a fag himself. interesting. BUT frankly, I too have to chime in. I thing K's experience has really affected him. He sounds sooooo sweet. I'D want to be his bf too. But, maybe you were brought together for a reason. Are you meant to help "change" him? Are you meant to be the one to see what YOU see and effectively begin to "recondition" him in that regard? He definately has things to still work out. He sounds like an absolute gem. But I'm not sure if the fag relationship he wants is exactly what you want. Perplexed.