Sunday, August 31, 2014

Knock, Knock Who's There? - But this wasn't a joke!

It was Thursday, August 28, 2014. I had been home less than 15-minutes before there was someone at my front door.  I was still changing into sweats upstairs preparing to relax.  Afterwards, I wondered whether he had been watching my house from somewhere near by???  As I type this, I am still wondering about that.

I fumbled with the drawstring on my sweats as I came down the stairs and heard my iPhone start to ring in the kitchen as I headed for the front door.  I can say that I wasn't expecting anyone and I was never expecting who was at the door. But, there he was!

He is now 30, 6'1", bl, bl with the same athletic build - maybe approaching muscular.  He is, believe it or not, better looking as some guys get as they age when young good looking becomes a more mature all-American handsome.  He hesitantly smiled as he looked at me when I opened the door.  I am unsure that I should admit this, but how does the expression go......"My heart leapt" at the sight of him.  My total surprise at the sight of him went from a tightness in my chest to the ends of my toes.  There is no way he did not see my surprise.  I am not sure I could have hidden it.

I just stood at the door and looked at him.  I don't know how long.  I didn't say anything.  I remember gripping and releasing the door knob a few times and saw the smile go away on his face.   Everything ran through my head.  I was surprised, I was angry, I was flooded by emotions and for a few seconds totally off balance and not in control.  He said, "Hello", which focused me and I repeated, "Hello".

Long-time readers of this Blog will remember cherryboi.  I had originally thought that cherryboi had left DC.  A year or so ago, my friend "Dan" broke it to me that he had spotted cherryboi on U Street.  I also had a fairly stronger suspicion that "Dan" still was in contact with him too.  It had taken a long time, but I was at a point in my life where I didn't think about cherryboi everyday.  Now here he was at my door.  It was strangely like a really bad black and white movie.

There was another long silence.  He asked, "Should I leave?", and I thought for a long minute and said, "No, come in."  I pointed towards the living room as I walked to the kitchen to find my iPhone.  More to give me time to think than anything else.  I yelled out to see if he wanted any wine and he said, "Yes", which gave me a few more minutes to collect myself.  I came back with a fresh bottle of California Cab and two glasses and poured some wine for both of us.

We sat and stared at each other for a few minutes.  He started talking by saying he had wanted to call or come see me for a long time, but was sure I hated him.  It ended with him crying softly om my couch as I thought about what he said and stared out my front window.  We finished the bottle of wine and chatted a lot about a lot.  Little does he know that I love him.  I did not tell him.

It is a good thing I was reticent, because he finally told me he is sort of seeing someone.  I am not surprised.