I am going to devote this entire post to K. If you have been paying attention, I referred to him as a quasi bf a while back. We have been fairly consistently "dating" on Saturday nights since February. He is a real cutie with this all-American young guy look. He is 32 years old, but looks like he's late 20's. A former high school/college soccer jock with the soccer player bod to prove it. He has light brown hair and green eyes that kinda flash at you when he looks directly at you. He normally wears a pair of scholarly-looking glasses. He is always smiling and is generally an up person at all times. There is always a book that he is reading under his arm or in his satchel. He is engaging, very cute not overtly sexy, but you'd definitely have to take a second look if you passed him on the street. You literally want to fucking tear his clothes off and fuck him hard as soon as you see him.
Having said all of that, there has been virtually nothing of interest to post on this Blog yet. For the first 3 "dates", we parted at the New York Avenue Metro Station with a kiss and a hug. I would get off the train and he would ride on to Silver Spring. On "date" 4, I again invited him to get off the train and come back to my place. After he hesitated, I point blank invited myself to his place, but got put off. This was followed by a couple really sweet e-mails and a kind of uncomfortable phone conversation. Again nothing on "date" 5.
On "date" 6, K came back to my place. We cracked open a bottle of wine and found a movie on on-Demand and cuddled and kissed and enjoyed the wine and the movie. We also talked about sex. It turns out that he has had a rough life and his experience with men has been less than mutually respectful. He candidly told me that he is very submissive and enjoys being with older dominant men. He has been dis-owned by most of his family and raped brutally at one point early in his life. He said that he likes to be the "fag". I am familiar with the term fag, but how he used it baffled me. Some of what he described left me totally shocked. I don't think I am naive and occasionally have been involved in some kinky play, but I am frankly puzzled how to have a relationship with a guy that wants this type of thing regularly. In addition, he told me as he left that night that he wanted to by my "fag".
I don't know how to have a relationship with a guy who wants to be my "fag". I said this to him. I am not sure I even understand his reaction. He says it’s all about me?? So, there we are.
I can't force myself on to a guy who has been raped. I certainly enjoy control and can be dominant, but there is a tacit understanding and reality that the guy I am with is enjoying it. So far, I am not seeing that here.
"Date" 7 was last night. He did anything I asked him to do, but it was like being with a robot. Today he assures me he enjoyed pleasing me. Frankly, it left me even more confused and empty. I am not sure about the future of us.
6 hours ago