I am not sure if K and I are still together or not. I am not sure if we were ever together. We have spoken by telephone every day. We had lunch downtown on Wednesday.
The fact of the matter is that what K says he hoped for was that I would see the cigarette burn marks, be jealous and beat him up. Or, so he says now. I think whatever the reality, only K may have any clue of the truth. I told him Wednesday that I would devote no more energy trying to make a determination.
K said he loved me, as I have blogged. I was shocked at the time, but on some level I wanted to believe that he might. Everyone wants to be loved. He may love me. I am just sure that he doesn't love me the way I need to be loved. Bottom line.... that is what is important. If I don't remember that then I am as fucked up or more than he is.
The dilemma now is whether to even continue to see K as a friend or a fuckbuddy. If I do, isn't he the winner? We aren't too close and he gets to live this fantasy of abusive relationships. Somehow, I think the conflict between the two of us over the last week has fed that. I mean, as some of you have pointed out, I made him cry and he gets off on abuse. K needs professional help, which he is not now getting. So, maybe the end of K.
In the meantime, I totally fucking worked the The Cop over last night. He left a few hours ago very sore and totally not willing to give me some more this morning. I had to settle for a tame morning blowjob.
A shout out to my new Cockwhore. You know who you are, if you are reading. I suspect you maybe. Maybe I'll fuck you next time, if you serve me well!
Finally, so fortunate to have cocksuckers to enjoy. Thugboy and The Kid have been a telephone call away all week. I am amazed how eager The Kid has been. He is on his way over now!
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13 comments:
"The dilemma now is whether to even continue to see K as a friend or a fuckbuddy."
how about neither? have u and K discussed the fact that he needs some kind of counseling? also, i was wondering...if decided to do some kind of counseling, would u agree to still keep him as a fuckbuddy?
just curious. :)
sounds like u and the cop are gettin along just fine, though. did u say he was married or something?
if K sought professional counseling, i think that there might be a chance. not sure that will happen.
The Cop is single ....i think. i don't ask. i just enjoy.
u are so matter-of-fact, it's ridiculous. funny though. good luck with k, whatever happens.
Good luck with K. What happened with The Kid yesterday?
Whatever happened to that construction worker you met at a bar after work? Have you hooked up again?
"He may love me. I am just sure that he doesn't love me the way I need to be loved. Bottom line.... that is what is important."
- you go boy!! work it out! i do think you should stop seeing him altogther. i think he needs to know that his behavior is not acceptable. and his actions, have consquences. perhaps, if he loves you, at all, he might realize hes fucked in the head and try to get some help. but i doubt it...he sounds like a real psycho.
I'm very sorry to read about your recent troubles. As bad as it might be or get, remember that there are a lot of really nice guys out there to help you throught it.
keep the cop stories coming:)
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Hi there,it's Chris the total bottom from Hong Kong. Linked and linked and, wow, see the hot stuff here :)
Just want to say, um, hope your troubles stay as short as my friend's jerk off duration time.
Keep the cop story going :)
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i'm sad about this. but you're right. ultimately you need to get something out of a relationship too. and if he's not able to give it to you, you have every right to walk away.
but for his sake and yours, i would end it and not do the friend or fuckbuddy thing. i think that will be very painful for you both. i can already see you hardening from this experience, so i'd try to get it out of my head as completely and as quickly as possible. and i'm sure it's obvious that k doesn't need yet another person to use him. good luck bro.
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